& {sometimes} WHY

Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s…CHEMTRAILS!

Huh? What happened to “It’s Superman”? You know, “Faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a locomotive! Able to reach tall buildings in a single bound!”

What happened?

One day as my friend Cheryl and I walked the serpentine route of our community lazy-river pool, she pointed to the blue, blue sky criss-crossed by white jet contrails like a preschoolers drawings and said, “Wow! They’re really spraying a lot today.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, puzzled. “You mean the jet contrails? Just a lot of planes passing overhead, I guess.”

“Well, more than that. It’s the government spraying,” she replied in all earnestness.

“What are they spraying,” I asked, “and why?” I believed the trails in the sky were harmless condensation from jets, but I wanted to draw out her out. Not to make fun, but to try to understand her thought process.

“You know, chemicals. To control us,” she said.

“Well, if that’s the case, it’s not working,” I laughed, hoping she’d see the absurdity of what she’d said and lighten up.

But just then Barb, who you met in Twisted Pool Talk #1, swam by. She overheard and joined in. “No, no, it’s not just that.” She stopped swimming and pointed at the sky. “It’s the government spraying to control the weather. You can read about it on the Internet.”

Of course you can. That and about a gazillion other things that are made up.

“But if ‘they’ are spraying to control the weather, why don’t ‘they’ fix this heat wave and send us some rain,” I quipped again. Barb just shrugged her shoulders.

“Ooooookaaay?” I said, shrugging my shoulders in return. She dog-paddled on.

On the trail of chemtrails

Before I hit the search engines to get the skinny on chemtrails v. contrails, I asked hubs over lunch if he’d ever heard of this spraying thing. He had not. We both laughed and said simultaneously, “conspiracy theory.”

Google returned hits from tenuous sources supporting the government-spraying theory but many, many more–from reliable, fact-based, high-quality sources–exposing it as a hoax.

That said, it’s a hoax with a long life.

The chemtrail conspiracy theory took flight after a 1996 research paper produced for the US Air Force speculated about the future potential use of nanotechnology to produce “artificial weather,” or clouds of microscopic computer particles all communicating with each other to form an “intelligent fog” that could be used for military purposes. “Artificial weather technologies do not currently exist,” the report stated. “But as they are developed, the importance of their potential applications rises rapidly.”

Artificial weather technologies still do not exist.

And international treaties signed in the 1970s by the United States and many other nations condemn the development or use of such weaponry.

Regardless, the chemtrail conspiracy was birthed, and its proponents claim that the proliferation of these trails grew exponentially thereafter.

Both US government officials and scientific communities reject the chemtrail-spraying idea and point to contrails present in photographs from the World War II era (one is pictured above right). It is, they say, simple condensation and nothing new, either in its content or its number.

Even former CIA employee and whistleblower Edward Snowden agrees and wrote in his memoir Permanent Record, “Climate change is real. Chemtrails are not a thing. I had ridiculous access to the networks of the NSA, the CIA, the military, all these groups. I couldn’t find anything.” Interesting that he looked.

Still the idea rears its turbulent head from time to time

Witness Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene’s (R-GA) comments a few weeks ago on X (formerly Twitter): “Yes, they can control the weather. It’s ridiculous for anyone to lie and say it can’t be done.” Referring to an image she uploaded, she wrote, “This map of hurricane affected areas with an overlay of electoral map by political party shows how hurricane devastation could affect the election.”

So now the lie grows into democrats creating hurricanes to impact the election. (Which it did not. NPR on Tuesday reported voter turnout in western North Carolina on par with 2020.) And ultimately the election went the way of Greene’s party, who wasn’t in power at the time Helene and Milton hit. So were covert republicans forces at work? Not likely.

If all this wasn’t weird enough, earlier this week, fired Fox News host Tucker Carlson added an apocalyptic twist when interviewed on a podcast, blaming hurricanes on abortion, of all things. He called abortion a form of human sacrifice and said hurricanes were society’s punishment for allowing them. “I’m sure I’ll be attacked for saying this, but I really believe it,” Carlson said, adding, “You can’t participate in human sacrifice without consequences.”

Tell that to all the societies through time who practiced not merely actual human sacrifice for religious reasons but also abortion and live infant exposure to deal with unwanted births (which I’m NOT advocating). The Romans, in particular, did the latter two without a thought, and I’ve never heard of any hurricanes hitting Italy now or then.

Tucker, you are not only right-wing, you are a right wingnut.

Not a good time to be a meterologist

A danger in spreading conspiracy theories is that real people, innocent people, can get hurt. It reminds me of the Jewish Talmud idea of the golem–a body without a soul, a creature formed out of a lifeless substance such as dust or earth and brought to life by ritual incantations and sequences of Hebrew letters.

Though the mythical golem’s primary purpose was to protect the Jewish community, it could mutate into a monster that spread fear and terror. Tradition says its letters are written on paper and placed in its mouth or affixed to its head. Removing the letters deanimates the golem.  

Conspiracy theories gone mainstream resemble golems run amok, and there’s no doubt they are among us, figuratively speaking. I know it sounds like a Halloween tale, but nowhere is it more apparent than in recent weather-conspiracy stories. An Oct. 14 NY Times article reported:

• Chris Gloninger, chief meteorologist at an Iowa television station, quit his job last summer after receiving harrassing messages, including a death threat, because of on-air discussions of climate change. The perpetrator was convicted of third-degree harassment and fined a mere $105. Listen to Gloninger’s interview with the BBC.
• Katie Nickolaou, a Lansing, MI, meteorologist received death threats in early October. “Murdering meteorologists won’t stop hurricanes,” she wrote on X. “I can’t believe I just had to type that.”
• Matthew Cappucci, a Washington, DC, meteorologist, received hundreds of negative comments and emails during October’s storms about how the government had modified the weather and accusing him of helping to cover it up.
• Matt Lanza, a Houston, TX, forecaster said the harrassment he’s received since Helene has “reached a new stratosphere,” and he’s concerned the industry will start losing meteorologists if it continues. “Nothing good comes of this,” he added.

Truer words were never spoken.

This “golem” has even gone after aid workers. While working in the aftermath of Helene, Federal Emergency Management Agency personnel were falsely accused of stealing donations and diverting disaster aid to Ukraine. They also received antisemitic and misogynistic threats. Perpetrators even called for residents to form militias to defend against these helpers.

Someone needs to find this golem and remove the “animating letters” from its mouth. Maybe this post will help.

But how?

I’m not sure. It seems like so many people, including the president- and vice-president-elect have lost their marbles. My mantra has always been that if it sounds crazy, it probably is.

“Conspiracy theorists are not all likely to be simple-minded, mentally unwell folks—a portrait which is routinely painted in popular culture,” says Shauna Bowes, lead author of a study by the American Psychological Assocation. “Instead, many turn to conspiracy theories to fulfill deprived motivational needs and make sense of distress and impairment.”

I agree with her. I may call this feature “Twisted Pool Talk,” but I wouldn’t say the folks referenced are themselves twisted. Just some of their beliefs about the world are. Cheryl, in particular, was (she has since passed away) a kind and unassuming person, never aggressive or defensive. Barb also, for all her quirkiness, is a good citizen and good-natured about my teasing and pushback.

My husband contends high-profile conspiracy mongering–like Greene’s, Carlson’s, Trump’s and Vance’s–is simply about drawing attention to one’s self and creating confusion and distraction. The more chaos created, the happier these people are because they can seize control in the aftermath. Sadly, it’s all of us hard-working, average citizens who will ultimately pay the price.

Next Friday we’ll meet a new pool character who operates somewhere in between these two extremes. Stay tuned, and, in the meantime, keep your eyes fixed on the sky, hoping to sight Superman amid all those contrails. Because we need him now, more than ever.

You may also enjoy…

• Twisted Pool Talk #3,
• Twisted Pool Talk #1, Barb’s Cataract Adventures: A Cautionary Tale